INTERVIEW : An Only Child
Soft and sultry, An Only Child’s music is like the reflective surface of a body of water that hides a deep and densely populated emotional universe. Following Still - released earlier this fall - the new single Pick Me Up After Work precedes the release of the LP Prepare The Body, which will hit streaming platforms and digital shelves in December. Both tracks have this indefinable quality, a musical rebelliousness and a richness of expression. We had a chat with the multifaceted musician and dancer to learn more about this upcoming album.
You said your new single Still was a culmination of so many emotions. Can you talk to us about how you wrote this track? What inspired you?
This track was inspired by the desperation and loneliness of unrequited love. I originally wrote the lyrics as a poem during a moment of heartache. I felt pathetic, unworthy, and undesired. I tried to be someone I wasn't for the validation of another. The song is a plea to be heard and validated by someone you care for.
You worked with the producer Crow for this release. What was your process together?
Crow is a dear friend of mine. When creating together, I typically play him a voice memo off my phone or sing a capella. He asks what I hear in the production, which then leads him into creating a guitar sketch. We then build the other elements of the song together, but 'Still' was different.
Crow showed me a guitar melody and beat he developed a few years prior and wondered if I liked it. I did. He played it on a loop and I started whispering a counter melody which later became the chorus. At this point I had no lyrics, just muttering and humming phrases. I remember going home after our session and shuffling through my notebook to find the original poem I mentioned. I reworked some of the phrases to fit the melody, formed the verse, and returned to Crow's with the structure. He then did what he does best and played around with different sounds and textures.
I love the way we work. It sounds silly without knowing us personally, but our process is very us. We both have a lot of musical influences. He pushes my limits and puts a lot into a composition, whereas I constantly ask to take things out. He is more expansive while I'm more deliberate. I find it a perfect balance.
You're planning the release of your album Prepare The Body in December? What can we expect from the album?
This album is very warm. I wasn't expecting it to be so warm since a lot of this record stems from very dark and vulnerable places for me. I'm quite guarded and I used this album to sort through a lot of pain. I wrote a lot about my romantic desires, anxieties surrounding my expression, and destructive tendencies. A lot of my inspiration comes from being alone.
I think of each track as a part of me, part of my body even. The first few songs feel like my face or external body. What one gets when you first meet me. The middle of the record feels like my internal organs and the connective tissue. The last few songs feel like my spirit or soul. As you get deeper into the record, the deeper you get into who I am.
Musically you can expect a lot of dynamism. Each song is different and has several reference points. You can expect some definite pop motifs, blues, jazz influences, as well as classic R&B. I'm heavily influenced by gospel music too. My father is a preacher, so there will inevitably be vocals drawn from my experiences in church.
I'm curious to know more about your moniker. What does it represent for you? Do you think being an only child can have an impact on an artist's work?
I'm not sure if being an only child can have a direct impact on an artist's work, but it certainly informed a lot for me. I find it represents a lot to many people. There are so many qualities that come to mind when we think of only children. There's the only child that is awkward and a loner. Some only children are considered to be mischievous and spoiled rotten. I also find there is a strong desire for only children to be perfect while also having a complicated relationship with attention.
My family moved around a lot, so I was always the new kid. I spent a great deal of time alone. This was both damaging and healing. Despite the isolation, I cultivated a strong imagination and a rich creative life. In my opinion, only children are natural artists/performers since they are usually around adults more than other kids. My parents had vibrant social lives growing up and I found myself playing a role for them and their friends. I had to play a role in every aspect of my daily life. I attended predominantly white schools which required me to behave in a particular way. On top of all that, I struggled with my sexuality which contributed to developing ways to cope and express myself.
All of this made me want to be alone. It's in my alone time that I'm able to feel truly myself and get in touch with my creative force as an artist. I'm not sure if this would have been the case if I had siblings. Most only children I've met can relate to this on some level.
Does your expression as a dancer intersect with your work as a musician? Do they influence each other?
I compare dancing and making music to my right and left hand. I need them both! They compliment and certainly influence each other. Both require a level of awareness that is similar to meditation. Both are linked to the breath and only exist in a moment. The body has an intelligence and changes every day. No matter how many times I've danced a piece, I cannot perform it in the exact same way. The same goes for working as a musician. My voice changes daily depending on my emotions, how much I've slept, what I've eaten, etc...
For me, music is more vulnerable than dance. I feel more comfortable dancing than I do singing. I can hide in the action and project something else than what I'm currently feeling. There's no hiding when I sing. When writing, I often dance first because it helps me get into my body. Movement helps me process what I'm feeling and gives more clarity on what I want to say and hear in the music.
What music were you listening to while you made your upcoming record? What did you like about it?
I listened to a lot of classical and meditation music. Both are quite healing for me. I also listened to Bonnie Raitt. I'm in love with how dynamic her voice is as well as her storytelling. I was also influenced by Nai Palm's Needle Paw album. The way the background vocals were layered over the main vocal created this beautiful swirling effect that felt warm and intimate. James Blake and Sade were and continue to be pillars for me as well. Blake's lyrics are so direct, I feel like I'm getting punched in the stomach. Sade can do no wrong. She has the uncanny ability to make everything sound both devastating and provocative all at once.
What's next for An Only Child?
Getting through this pandemic.